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Ethan Demme

Thoughts and Policy for Building a Better Pennsylvania

  • Education Reform
  • Parental Engagement
  • Public Policy
  • Lifelong Learning
  • Lancaster County
  • Education Reform
  • Parental Engagement
  • Public Policy
  • Lifelong Learning
  • Lancaster County
  • Education Reform
  • Parental Engagement
  • Public Policy
  • Lifelong Learning
  • Lancaster County

book review

“The Truth About Trust” – Book Review

August 5, 2015

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Trust is one of the basic components of daily life. Whether it’s trusting a spouse to remain faithful or an employer to compensate you for the hours you worked or yourself to stick to that diet, being trustworthy and ascertaining the trustworthiness of others are imperatives.

In The Truth About Trust, David DeSteno, PhD, explores the importance of trust in determining success in life, love, and learning, etc.. while also exploring the mechanics for how we perceive trustworthiness. As it turns out, the image in popular imagination of the human lie detector who reads miniscule changes in facial expression is mostly Hollywood myth. Another insight is that while we are prone to using past behavior (also known as reputation) in our quest to determine the level of trustworthiness of another, this approach is often ineffective because “human behavior is quite variable” (pg. 16) meaning past behavior does not necessarily predict future behavior.

For the purposes of this review, I’d like to look at two findings the book reports on that are relevant to my readership. The first insight is on the dark side of the biological hormone Oxytocin and how that effects parenting in light of peer orientation. The second insight is on the importance of respect in creating trust in a learning environment.

1. Oxytocin is a bonding agent that the body produces. The hormone induces labor and creates a strong biological bond between mother and newborn baby. The hormone is produced in physical interactions like hugs and even handshakes. It’s no wonder then that it has been hailed as “love glue.” Bu it also has some downsides which have only recently been explored. While Oxytocin produces warm fuzzy feelings for how one responds to someone in the “in-group” [such as a family member or good friend], it can also increase feelings of envy, discriminatory prejudice and judgment, etc., of  members of an “out-group.”

This is significant in light of the research of Dr. Neufeld. Firstly, in-group bonds between say middleschool friends can be quite intense but then too their harsh treatment of the new kid or the outsider can be equally intense. Oxytocin is involved both in the affections shown toward insiders and the hostility shown toward outsiders. Secondly, in Dr. Neufeld’s seminal work Hold On To Your Kids, he demonstrates that peer orientation can often result in a peer group replacing the attachment and loyalty of the bond to family (particularly parents but also siblings.) Again, Oxcytocin can work as two-edged sword, bonding kids to friends and pushing them away from parents. (Click here to read more about Dr. Neufeld on attachment.) Click here to access my series on parental engagement, an importance stabilizing force for mitigating concerns of peer orientation – or for more on attachment, click here and here.

2. On a more positive, but equally important note, The Truth About Trust presents research which empirically demonstrates that trust is essential for children to learn. One study, Young children’s selective trust in informants, authored by Paul L. Harris* and Kathleen H. Corriveau, found that preschoolers were able to choose between competing truth claims by selecting the source they found the more trustworthy. The two key takeaways were that preschoolers, with secure attachments, trusted primary caregivers over anyone, failing that, they trusted the source who was seen to be most like them (ie., culturally), and failing that, they trusted the source who had demonstrated the most reliability in the past.

The book also reports research which states that “Children actually remember information better – the same information – if they hear it from a trustworthy source as opposed to an untrustworthy source.” (pg. 74) Additionally (and significantly),  students respond better to teachers they trust than teachers they merely like (be a mentor, not a friend.)

Trusting someone is inherently risky and yet without trust, our society would not be able to function. The Truth About Trust doesn’t offer any fail-safe formulas or gimmicky manipulation tricks. Instead, the book walks through the various systems, conscious and subconscious, within us that affect how we trust, whom we trust, and how we ourselves act in any given situation. The main takeaway though is that trust matters and that when it comes to learning, trust that flows out of a secure attachment is essential. This is good news: as parents, it means nature is on our side. We can trust ourselves as parents and as a result of our love, our children can trust us, which provides our children with the support system they need in order to grow and develop into lifelong learners.

Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: attachment, book review, trust parents

“Disrupting Class” – Book Review

July 29, 2015

Clayton Christensen (author of Disrupted Class) speaking at the 2013 World Economic Forum
Clayton Christensen (author of Disrupted Class) speaking at the 2013 World Economic Forum CC BY-SA 2.0 Source:

Once upon a time, computers were large, cumbersome, hard-to-operate, and expensive. Then Apple created a personal computer, broke into the market, stole the market shares from Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC), and revolutionized the world. Well, not exactly. Apple didn’t compete directly with DEC – to do so would have been futile given the stronghold DEC held. No, Apple created it’s own market by creating its model IIe personal computer which was marketed to a whole different set of consumers – children.

The true story above is the perfect example of a potent form of change. Disruptive Innovation. Apple reinvented the game. At first, Apple’s product was not nearly as capable as the computers DEC was making, but over time, as the cost of building went down even as the computing power went up, people quickly realized the personal computer wasn’t just a children’s toy – and the world has never been the same.

On the back cover of Clayton M. Christensen’s book Disrupting Class are endorsements by: a former Governor, a press syndication service operated by the Washington Post, a Chancellor of Education, and the author of Good To Great (a staple in the business world.) And while the book is focused on “How Disruptive Innovation Will Change the Way the World Learns” (subtitle), it’s equally valuable reading for its insights into business as well as education. And its vision for the reinvention of schools is one that has many leaders, myself included, excited.

Disruptive Innovations happen on the sidelines; they create a new way of doing things and once that new way has fully matured, it displaces what once was. And thus Apple PCs replace the DEC minicomputer and Wikipedia makes academic print encyclopedias almost irrelevant.  The School Choice movement is a Disruptive Innovation. Nevada’s new Universal Education Savings Account legislation is a Disruptive Innovation. And schools equipped with software that adapts in real-time to the learning styles and pacing of each student while providing ongoing assessment of learning? Well, that’s a Disruptive Innovation that is waiting just around the corner.

Currently customization in education is largely conditional on financial resources. Wealthy families pay for tutors who customize their instruction for their pupils. School districts with ample financial resources offer more AP classes and extracurricular studies. Imagine then if barriers were broken-down and students from all backgrounds had access to education that is customized to maximize their learning.

Like all disruptions, student-centric technology will make it affordable, convenient, and simple for many more students to learn in ways that are customized for them. – Disrupting Class, page 92

Are you concerned that such an approach, which turns teachers into mentor/guide/tutor and places software at the center of learning might not be effective? Consider this area (one of many) where student-centric technology would be of benefit and would alleviate a major concern of educators, parents and students: testing:

When students learn through student-centric online technology, testing doesn’t have to be postponed until the end of an instructional module and then administered in a batch mode. Rather, we can verify mastery continually to create tight, closed feedback loops. Misunderstandings do not have to persist for weeks until the exam has been administered and the instructor has had time to grade each student’s test.

There is a lot more great information contained within the pages of Disrupting Class. I highly recommend that you buy a copy and read it. Here’s a link to the author’s website – and here is a link to his Twitter page.

Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: #edtech, book review, classroom, education, school choice

“Do Parents Know They Matter?” – Book Review

July 22, 2015

Me reading the book!
Me reading the book!

In their book “Do Parents Know They Matter? Raising achievement through parental engagement,” authors Alma Harris, Kirstie Andrew-Power, and Dr Janet Goodall examine the importance of parents. “The fundamental argument throughout this book is that parents have to engage with student learning in the home for any significant and sustained learning gains to occur. Hence, schools should be looking to maximize support for learning in the home as a top priority in any developmental activity aimed at engaging parents.” (from the Introduction, page XV)

And when the authors speak about parental engagement, they make sure to stress that it cannot be a “bolt on” but rather has to be at the “centre [British spelling] of all aspects of school life.” (pg. 49)

Parents . . . are by far the most important influences on their children’s lives. They influence how young people think about education, their future and society. Therefore, their support for schools and engagement in learning is crucial if improving learning outcomes for each student in each setting is to be more than an aspiration. (pg. 9)

Some interesting insights came to light in the book when the authors discussed a parental engagement project they were involved with in school settings.

“In the EPRA [Engaging Parents to Raise Achievement] project, parents and students tended to view engagement as broadly offering support to students, while school staff generally thought it was more about supporting the school in their work with students.” (pg. 62)

“Both parents and students highlighted moral support for learning as the central purpose of parental engagement. This emphasis on the importance of education shows that parents and students shared a broad understanding that parental engagement was more than simply being involved with the school they understood that it included a variety of things, from simply taking an interest in how a student’s day had gone, through to help with homework, discussions about the student’s future and educational options, to provision of study materials and other help with study. Effective parental engagement includes engagement with the school, engagement with school work, and engagement with learning.” (pg. 66-66)

This book presents helpful research, some good ideas for educators and schools, and the message that parents really do matter. At the end of the book are appendixes that offer additional resources, including a “Best Practices” type list that profiles schools with successful parental engagement programs. Check out the book if you are looking for more research on Parental Engagement.

Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: alma harris, book review, janet goodall, kirstie andrew-power, parental engagement, schools, trust parents, uk

“How Children Succeed” – Book Review

June 15, 2015

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The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines grit as “firmness of mind or spirit: unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger.” Paul Tough, author of “How Children Succeed”, is convinced that grit and other similar character skills like curiosity and self-control are keys to success that are often overlooked. According to Tough, the narrative we normally use to explain success is one about intelligence and thus we focus on things like SAT scores and IQ tests. But, Tough posits, cognitive skill alone provides no guarantee that someone is equipped for success and rather that character is needed as well.

Right at the beginning of the book we are given a provocative study that exemplifies this understanding of grit being a crucial asset. James Heckman is famous in certain circles for his GED study. This study sought to compare high school graduates with GED-recipients.

“According to their scores on achievement tests, which correlate closely with IQ, GED recpients were every bit as smart as high-school graduates. But when Heckman looked at their path through higher education, he discovered that GED recipients weren’t anything like high-school graduates. At age twenty-two, Heckman found, just 3 percent of GED recipients were enrolled in a four-year university or had completed some kind of post-secondary degree, compared to 46 percent of high-school graduates.

In fact, Heckman discovered that when you consider all kinds of important future outcomes – annual income, unemployment rate, divorce rate, use of illegal drugs – GED recipients look exactly like high-school dropouts, despite the fact that they have earned this . . . extra credential, and despite the fact that they are, on average, considerably more intelligent than high-school dropouts.” (xvillll)

Heckman’s interpretation of the GED study is that the reason for the disparity is a lack of character traits (like grit) in the GED-recipients. Paul Tough explains: “Those traits – an inclination to persist at a boring and often unrewarding task; the ability to delay gratification; the tendency to follow through on a plan – also turned out to be valuable in college, in the workplace, and in life in general.” (pg. xix)

One crucial avenue for nurturing grit and other needed character traits is found within the parent-child bond. At one point in the book, we are introduced to the failing Roseland school district in Chicago. When the author asked Steve Gates, a YAP (youth advocate program) advocate about the situation, he mentioned that family issues at home spill over into the classroom. And of course there were other factors mentioned like gang violence and drug addiction in this exploration of Roseland. Still, Gates key insight was on the role of family.

“But while Gates is careful not to blame Roseland’s parents for the neighborhood’s crisis, he has decided that for him, at least, the most effective vehicle for improving children’s outcomes is not the school or the church or even the job center; it is the family – or, if necessary, the creation of substitute or supplemental family structures for children who don’t have them.” (pg. 43)

Parenting is work of nurture. We know how powerful setting an example is and that kids will do as they see their parents do more so than they will do what their parents tell them they should do. In some ways, character – good or bad – is contagious. If a parent has a strong work ethic, the child will “catch” that work ethic. In other ways, teaching character is much more intensively hands-on, like insisting that a child clean up her toys when she’s done playing or having the child make his bed each morning. In all of these cases, it is the nurture-dimension of parenting that helps build character.

But interestingly enough, parenting is effective down to the molecular roots. Paul Tough writes about current neuroscience research on attachment which suggests that, in sum, the loving attention of a parent in the early years of a child allows that child – on a biological level – to deal with obstacles, stress, and set-backs down the road. This makes sense intuitively: parents provide a safety net that allows children to explore, fall, fail (and Tough reiterates that failure is an important part of growth), and develop while also protecting them from the cruel realities of the world until they are ready to deal with those realities.

If you’re still not convinced that parents can have such a profound impact on their children, listen to what the author says about an attachment intervention program for foster parents of young children, “ABC” – Attachment and Biobehavioral Catch-up. This program was developed by Mary Dozier, a psychologist at the University of Delaware.

ABC encourages foster parents to respond to their infants’ cues more attentively and warmly and calmly. After just ten home visits, children in ABC show higher rates of secure attachment, and their cortisol levels are indistinguishable from those of typical, well-functioning, non-foster-care children. What is perhaps most remarkable about Dozier’s intervention is that only the parents receive the treatment, not the children in their care – and yet it has a profound effect on the HPA-axis functioning of the children.

“How Children Succeed” is filled with a great many interesting tidbits and thought-provoking explorations. Contained within its pages are lessons learned from: middle school chess players forced to analyze each game, win or lose, challenges faced by elitist prep schools as leaders want to teach character even if that means introducing risk, and growth mindset as exemplified by the students at KIPP schools.

Ultimately though, my takeaway from the book is that children succeed when attachment is nurtured and parents are acting as buffer, compass, sage, safety net for their children as they cultivate within their children, these character traits that are so necessary to flourish in society.

Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: attachment, book review, education, trust parents

Dr. Gordon Neufeld On The Importance of Attachment

June 1, 2015

Dr. Gordon Neufeld is a pioneer researcher on attachment within families. He speaks and writes on the importance of parents as the primary attachments. Following up on the work of Bowlby’s “Secure Base“ and other work such as, Anna Freud’s “Infants Without Families”, Dr. Neufeld demonstrates the potency of the natural design for deep parent-child bonds.

In an article on Dr. Neufeld’s blog, Shoshana Hayman shares about attachment and religious faith. In her article “And Thou Shall Teach Thy Children….” Linking the Generations Together Through Centuries, she shares about attending a traditional Passover Seder. She writes how she “expected to hear deep insights into the Haggadah, the ancient text that relates the story of the exodus of the Jewish People from Egypt to become a nation in their own homeland” but was surprised when “the rabbi directed all of the discussion to the young children who sat at the table. He told them stories, listened to their ideas, and encouraged them to ask questions. And there was a lot of joyful singing, adults and children together.” Hayman says that:

The fulfillment of the commandment “thou shall teach thy children…” unfolded before my eyes, and brought back my own wonderful childhood memories of the Passover Seder, when the story of Passover became part of who I am.

What causes a child to accept the teachings and values of his parents so they become his way of life? Children learn best from those with whom they have a close, safe and loving relationship. Children must always feel the warm invitation to exist in the presence of their parents and other adults in their lives who care for them. This kind of relationship, called an attachment relationship, must be nurtured and protected so that it can deepen over the years. This is the context within which parents can instruct, direct and correct their children, and children can remain open to their parents’ influence.

Here is a video interview of Dr. Neufeld which provides a great overview of his core insights on attachment. It’s 17 minutes long but it’s down-to-earth and full of practical wisdom.

Filed Under: Parental Engagement Tagged With: attachment, attachment theory, book review, parental engagement, parents, trust parents

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