Ethan Demme

Thoughts and Policy for Building a Better Pennsylvania

The Power of Moments – Book Review

The existentialist philosopher Kierkegaard once wrote that we live forward but understand backward. In their book The Power of Moments, authors Chip Heath (Stanford) and Dan Heath (Duke) help us explore those defining moments in our lives that shape our core identity. The authors identify four main characteristics of defining moments (though some of the most memorable combine two or more of these elements):

Elevation: “defining moments rise above the everyday. They provoke not just transient happiness, like laughing at a friend’s joke, but memorable delight.”

Insight: “defining moments rewire our understanding of ourselves or the world.”

Pride: “defining moments capture us at our best – moments of achievement, moments of courage.”

Connection: “defining moments are social…these moments are strengthened because we share them with others.”

The authors divide these defining moments into three main categories:

Transitions: promotions, the first day of school, the end of projects, etc.

Milestones: retirement, unheralded achievements, etc.

Pits: dealing with negative feedback, loss of loved ones, etc.

In business as in personal life, the authors argue that we benefit from building the habit of “moment-spotting.” This can often be a harder task in business because we get “consumed with goals” and when that happens “time is meaningful only insofar as it clarifies or measures our goals. The goal is the thing.” But the authors seek to push back against this goal-oriented framework: they remind us that “for an individual human being, moments are the thing.” And they point out that even celebrating an achievement is “embedded in a moment.”

As an example of concrete defining moments in the workplace, the authors ask us to think about the first day at a new job. “For new employees, it’s three big transitions at once: intellectual (new work), social (new people), and environmental (new place.)” If we can recognize that this first day provides an opportunity for a defining moment filled with elevation, insight, pride, and connection, then we will realize that “the first day shouldn’t be a set of bureaucratic activities on a checklist. It should be a peak moment.”

In addition to tips on how to recognize defining moments, the book gives helpful advice for how to craft those moments. This advice is often deeply practical and simple, such as boosting sensory pleasures (color, taste, music), but the advice also relies on psychology in suggesting ideas like using games or competition to simulate the feeling that the stakes are raised, or using novelty to challenge expectations and break social scripts.

The authors conclude their book with a series of imaginative what-if questions:

  • What if every organization in the world offered new employees an unforgettable first-day experience?
  • What if every student had an academic experience as memorable as prom?
  • What if every patient was asked, ‘what matters to you?’
  • What if you called that old friend right now and finally made that road trip happen?
  • What if we didn’t just remember the defining moments of our lives but made them?

This book reminded me of Pixar’s animated movie Inside Out. In this imaginative movie, we see inside the brain command center of a girl named Riley, and we watch as her personified emotions help her to navigate daily life. Inside the ecosystem that is Riley’s brain, we see islands that represent Core Memories – defining moments from Riley’s life.

In my review of the movie, I suggested to parents that you talk to your own children about their core memories: ask your kids about the memories that define them. Ask questions like, “what is your favorite family memory?”, and “Do you remember what made you feel the saddest?” – Let your children take the lead because the memories that are core to them may not be what you’d expect . . . but don’t be afraid to use prompts as need, i.e., “remember when we first got Rover?” As we enter into this New Year, reflecting as a family on defining moments, both individual and familial, can help contextualize those resolutions and goals we have set for 2019, while helping us avoid being consumed by those goals and instead remain watchful for those extraordinary moments that enrich life.

Be a Scout Not A Soldier

I’m never wrong, except when I’m disagreeing with my wife. Okay, fine, I admit that I’m often wrong and I’m not always the quickest to acknowledge when I’m wrong. Recently I watched Julia Galef’s TEDx talk on why we think we’re right — even when we’re wrong. It turns out when I struggle to see or admit that I am wrong, I am often encountering what social scientists call “motivated reasoning.” Galef explains that motivated reasoning refers to how our  “unconscious motivations, our desires, and fears, shape the way we interpret information.” In other words, we are rarely fully disinterested and impartial in the face of new data. Galef explains that “some information, some ideas, feel like our allies. We want them to win. We want to defend them. And other information or ideas are the enemies, and we want to shoot them down.”

Often how we respond to new information can be traced back to our mindsets and how open we are too different perspectives. Galef describes these mindsets using two metaphors:

So I’d like you to imagine for a moment that you’re a soldier in the heat of battle. Maybe you’re a Roman foot soldier or a medieval archer or maybe you’re a Zulu warrior. Regardless of your time and place, there are some things that are constant. Your adrenaline is elevated, and your actions are stemming from these deeply ingrained reflexes, reflexes rooted in a need to protect yourself and your side and to defeat the enemy.

So now, I’d like you to imagine playing a very different role, that of the scout. The scout’s job is not to attack or defend. The scout’s job is to understand. The scout is the one going out, mapping the terrain, identifying potential obstacles. And the scout may hope to learn that, say, there’s a bridge in a convenient location across a river. But above all, the scout wants to know what’s really there, as accurately as possible.

In order to cultivate the scout mentality, we need to change the way we feel. While that might not be the most intuitive advice, our gut reactions and even our ability to reason are conditioned with the more immediate emotional reactions we have. Galef explains that in order to learn to be like scouts, “we need to learn how to feel proud instead of ashamed when we notice we might have been wrong about something. We need to learn how to feel intrigued instead of defensive when we encounter some information that contradicts our beliefs.” To me, that sounds like we also need a healthy dose of humility, and maybe even the humor to laugh at our mistakes, which will let us truly become lifelong learners.

Below is the whole TEDx talk:

Summer Reading At Your Library

library

“I like libraries. It makes me feel comfortable and secure to have walls of words, beautiful and wise, all around me. I always feel better when I can see that there is something to hold back the shadows.” -Roger Zelazny

Summer is almost here and that means it’s soon time to sign your child or teen up for a Summer Reading Program at your local library. Every year, businesses (including local Lancaster County businesses) donate coupons and prizes to incentive students into completing a reading challenge. The summer months off school often result in a staggering loss of learning. Keeping your kids reading helps them retain what they’ve learned during the school year and also gives them opportunities to do their own independent learning, whether reading about maps or horses or computer programming!

Of course, libraries aren’t just for kids. Even with your busy summer schedule, consider setting goals for yourself. During those beach days or on the blistering hot August days when you’re camped inside with the AC on, try to squeeze in some time to read a novel or biography or memoir. Some libraries also offer adult reading programs so maybe the chance of winning an Amazon giftcard will help encourage you to do some reading this summer.  My goodreads goal is to read 30 books this year.

Make sure you also ask about summer events at your library; there are often great educational programs and fun events for all age groups (including adults) hosted all throughout the summer. Consider going to programs and events as a family.

There are 18 libraries in Lancaster County. To find out which one is closest to your family, click here.

Here is a recent video (10 minutes) from The Atlantic showing why libraries still matter by highlighting modern libraries in New York:

Lancaster County Conservancy

conservancy

Founded in 1969, the Lancaster County Conservancy is devoted to saving and stewarding the ecosystems and landscapes upon which we depend for food, clean water and air, economic and public health, and the restoration of soul and spirit. The Conservancy has four main programs:

Land Protection Program: Focuses on our county’s natural resources “gems’ such as forest communities or streams and wetlands with the goal of protecting our most vital natural resources.

The Conservancy has protected over 5,474 acres of natural lands in Lancaster (York and Chester) County with 38 preserves that are open to the general public 365 days per year.

Stewardship Program: Manages Conservancy properties so that healthy habitats exist for people and wildlife.  Activities include: development of management plans, employed stewardship crews, trash clean-up and invasive plant control.

Education Program: Engages local school districts, students and adults in outdoor classrooms and the utilization of Conservancy properties.

Urban Greening Program: LIVE Green strives to build strong and healthy communities through environmental projects.  LIVE Green focuses a  majority of its efforts in the City of Lancaster through its Urban Watershed Initiative.

On the website, Lancaster Conservancy lists these ideas for family activities for exploring nature:

  • Look for insects, leaves, clouds, stars
  • Read a favorite nature story
  • Listen to night-time sounds outside
  • Watch a bird fly high in the sky
  • Touch a wiggly worm
  • Observe leaves falling in the fall
  • Use your nose to smell an interesting flower

Click here to see a map and listing of the Conservancy’s preserves sorted by school district. For more information about the educational opportunities the Conservancy offers (including field trips), click here.

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