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Ethan Demme

Thoughts and Policy for Building a Better Pennsylvania

  • Education Reform
  • Parental Engagement
  • Public Policy
  • Lifelong Learning
  • Lancaster County
  • Education Reform
  • Parental Engagement
  • Public Policy
  • Lifelong Learning
  • Lancaster County
  • Education Reform
  • Parental Engagement
  • Public Policy
  • Lifelong Learning
  • Lancaster County

parents

National Literacy Trust: Study

August 24, 2018

reading books

The National Literacy Trust has an online resource entitled Words for Life that provides tips, downloadable activities, and other resources for parents to encourage them to read to their children. At the launch of the Words for Life resource, the Trust shared findings from a study. In an article about the research, the Trust shared that:

Nearly a third (29%) feel the most important influence on their children’s communication and language skills lay with someone other than themselves
15% cite teachers as having the biggest influence on these skills
One parent in seven (14%) does not spend any time on a daily basis supporting their children’s literacy development, for example by singing nursery rhymes or reading with them
Yet, the good news is that nine out of ten (91%) parents would like to spend more time helping their child develop their literacy skills.

The article also shared a testimony from Natalie Cassidy, a mother, who wrote:

Having my own daughter enjoy reading, writing and sharing her experiences with me and her dad is extremely important to me. Every night I read with her and we sing all the time! Reading has to be made fun, books are fabulous for the imagination and to help little personalities grow. Every parent should join the library, or buy just one book and share the joy of literature with their children. Happy reading!

Be sure to check out the Words for Life site. To visit the parent site for National Literary Trust, click here. To read my review of Scholastic research on the importance of reading aloud, click here.

Filed Under: Parental Engagement Tagged With: parents, reading, research

Affirmation and Attachment, Part 1

June 12, 2018

Few thinkers have thought about festivity and celebration as deeply as the Catholic philosopher Josef Pieper (4 May 1904 – 6 November 1997). In his short but dense In Tune with the World, Pieper lays out a compelling theory of festivity. For Pieper, we celebrate because we recognize that everything – our existence, the existence of those around us, the existence of trees and flowers and stars – is a good gift. Our most joyous celebrations are thus predicated on humility in recognizing this gift. It is in this spirit of humble joy, what Pieper calls festivity, that we ought to love each other. Pieper notes that “the act of freely giving oneself cannot take place unless it […] grows from the root of a comprehensive affirmation.”

This affirmation which kindles joy and leads to love is universal, says Pieper. And this affirmation proclaims that “everything that is, is good, and it is good to exist.” In this, we echo the words of our Creator who looked at all that He had made and gave being to and proclaimed that “it was good.” Pieper goes on to explain that “man cannot have the experience of receiving what is loved, unless the world and existence as a whole represent something good and therefore beloved to him.”

Pieper’s insights have practical application in our parenting. In order to be the best parents we can be and to help our children flourish, we need to affirm them! Affirmation, in words and in deeds, shows our children that it is good to us that they exist. It’s important to note that while there is certainly a place for affirming certain actions of our kids, the affirmation Pieper writes of is one that says, “it doesn’t matter to me what you do or do not do, I am pleased that you exist, I think it’s important that you exist, and you are loved.”

Affirmation goes hand in hand with nurturing the attachment between parents and children that allow children to thrive. As the noted attachment psychologist John Bowlby writes, “no parent is going to provide a secure base for his growing child unless he has an intuitive understanding of and respect for his child’s attachment behavior and treats it as the intrinsic and valuable part of human nature I believe it to be. ” This echoes the insight by the Catholic educator Maria Montessori who wrote that she had “come to appreciate the fact that children have a deep sense of personal dignity” while cautioning parents against anger and pride (opposites to the humility and festive joy Pieper writes are the source of love) because these two vices will subvert the efforts of an adult to teach a child.

Blogger Shoshana Hayman has some key insight on affirmation and attachment. In her article “And Thou Shall Teach Thy Children….” Linking the Generations Together Through Centuries, she shares about attending a traditional Passover Seder. She writes how she “expected to hear deep insights into the Haggadah, the ancient text that relates the story of the exodus of the Jewish People from Egypt to become a nation in their own homeland” but was surprised when “the rabbi directed all of the discussion to the young children who sat at the table. He told them stories, listened to their ideas, and encouraged them to ask questions. And there was a lot of joyful singing, adults and children together.” Hayman says that:” Children must always feel the warm invitation to exist in the presence of their parents and other adults in their lives who care for them. This kind of relationship, called an attachment relationship, must be nurtured and protected so that it can deepen over the years. This is the context within which parents can instruct, direct and correct their children, and children can remain open to their parents’ influence.

Parents, please give your kids a hug today, look them in the eye, smile, and say “it is good to me that you exist.” Remember, affirmation leads to celebration, and what is better to celebrate than the joy of being together as a family?

Filed Under: Parental Engagement Tagged With: attachment, attachment theory, parents

Pew Research: Mothers Support Each Other On Social Media

November 17, 2016

Computer_keyboard

According to recent research from the Pew Research Center, mothers are heavily engaged on social media and are especially likely to give and receive support on social media.

  • 81% of parents who use social media try to respond to good news others share in their networks, including 45% of social-media-using parents who “strongly agree” that they do so. Some 53% of mothers say they “strongly agree,” compared with 33% of fathers who say that.
  • 74% of parents who use social media get support from their friends there.2 Digging into the data, 35% of social-media-using parents “strongly agree” that they get support from friends on social media. Fully 45% of mothers who use social media “strongly agree” that they get support from friends on social media, compared with just 22% of fathers.
  • 71% of all parents on social media try to respond if they know the answer to a question posed by someone in their online network.
  • 58% of parents who use social media try to respond when a friend or acquaintance shares bad news online. Mothers are particularly likely to “strongly agree” that they try to do this – 31% say so, compared with 21% of fathers.

Here’s an image from Pew regarding how parents interact with social media to find information relevant to their parenting:

Pew Research
Pew Research

The report also shares that among the various social media platforms, parents are much more likely to use Facebook (while non-parents use Instagram.) In terms of community, here’s an interesting finding: “Parents are more likely to be Facebook friends with their parents than non-parents, 53% vs. 40%. They also are more likely to be friends with their neighbors on the network, 41% vs. 34% of non-parents.”

My takeaway from the research? While social media doesn’t appear to be a consistently reliable place to get parenting advice, it has strong potential for providing support to parents. In other words, parents that #trustparents (themselves and fellow parents) and who support each other can benefit from strong online bonds. Here’s the link to the full report.

(In my next post, I’ll look at what the report has to say about parents’ thoughts on their children on social media.)

Filed Under: Parental Engagement Tagged With: parents, research, social media

Don’t Forget The Families

October 24, 2015

DontForgetFamilies-Report-Cover

The Search Institute has a 2015 study entitled Don’t Forget the Families: The Missing Piece in America’s Effort to Help All Children Succeed. The study looks at how family relationships are a critical, but often overlooked, key to children’s development. The study examined 1,085 parenting adults of 3- to 13-year-olds from across the United States, finding that:

the quality of parent-child relationships is 10 times more powerful than demographics (race, ethnicity, family composition, and family income) in predicting whether children are developing critical character strengths they need for success in school and life. These strengths include being motivated to learn, being responsible, and caring for others.

The study provides a framework of five essential actions for parents. Kids need parents to:

Express Care: Show that you like me and want the best for me.
Challenge Growth: Insist that I try to continuously improve.
Provide Support: Help me complete tasks and achieve goals.
Share Power: Hear my voice and let me share in making decisions.
Expand Possibility: Expand my horizons and connect me to opportunities.

dontforgetfamilies-figure2

These numbers in Figure 2 indicate that parents are quick to express care while not as quick to share power or expand possibilities. These numbers were consistent across all backgrounds with no differences resulting from race, education, household income, etc..

Parents instinctively desire to help their children succeed and guide their children in their development. Yet, the authors of the study point out, parental engagement initiatives are often focused on how parents can support institutions of learning like schools but can “overlook the one thing about which parents care deeply and that can powerfully benefit their children’s development: relationships in the home.” The authors, expanding on this understanding of families as crucial to child development and learning, write:

There is a rich but perhaps untapped reservoir of relational power across the economic and cultural spectrum in the United States. With intentionality, it has even more potential to address the challenges that young people face while also nurturing in them key character strengths that are foundational for success in life.

This is a great body of research that affirms why it makes sense to #trustparents and to empower families. To read the whole report and access additional resources, click here. I’ve written a series of blog posts on Parental Engagement: here’s a post with more research,  a post with tips for parents, and here is a link to access the whole series.

#TrustParents

Filed Under: Parental Engagement Tagged With: #trustparents, parental engagement, parents, research

Poverty, Education and Parental Engagement

October 7, 2015

cornfield

Who can help us solve the problem of poverty? Depending on how frame of reference, we might answer this in a number of ways. We might say government agencies, or nonprofit think-tanks, or charitable ministries. Since education is one solution to poverty, we could speak of teachers and school administrators and principals.

While it is true, that all of these people or groups of people have roles to play in ending poverty, it is easy to forget another and perhaps most important group of people: those who live in poverty. In her 2015 TED Talk, Mia Birdsong explains why “the story we tell about poverty isn’t true.” The conventional story of poverty goes like this: those who work hard are successful, therefore those who are unsuccessful (poor) must not be willing to work hard. With this mentality, Mia says, we are “convinced that poor people are a problem that needs fixing.” She goes on to describe the reality:

Marginalized communities are full of smart, talented people, hustling and working and innovating, just like our most revered and most rewarded CEOs. They are full of people tapping into their resilience to get up every day, get the kids off to school and go to jobs that don’t pay enough, or get educations that are putting them in debt . . . They are full of people doing for themselves and for others, whether it’s picking up medication for an elderly neighbor, or letting a sibling borrow some money to pay the phone bill, or just watching out for the neighborhood kids from the front stoop.

Former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice also critiques the notion that poor people on the whole are passive, incompetent, or unmotivated. At the 2014 National Summit on Education Reform, Rice said: “it is such a mistaken impression that poor parents either don’t care or don’t know what is best for their kids.”

If the story we tell ourselves about poverty is wrong, how might we change it? Mia asks us to ponder some what-if questions. “What if we recognized that what’s working is the people and what’s broken is our approach? What if we realized that the experts we are looking for, the experts we need to follow, are poor people themselves? What if, instead of imposing solutions, we just added fire to the already-burning flame that they have? Not directing — not even empowering — but just fueling their initiative.”

Everywhere I go, I see people who are broke but not broken. I see people who are struggling to realize their good ideas, so that they can create a better life for themselves, their families, their communities.

When it comes to the topic of poverty in the context of education reform, it is important to bear in mind what Mia and Condoleeza are highlighting. We need to start with the assumption that poor parents want what’s best for their children, know their children better than anyone else, and are capable of helping their children succeed provided they are supported along the way by the various institutions of civic society: family, neighborhood community, school, library, church, etc..

We should #TrustParents

Below is the complete TED Talk. Click here to watch Condoleeza Rice’s keynote from the 2014 National Summit on Education Reform.

Filed Under: Parental Engagement Tagged With: #trustparents, parental engagement, parents, poverty, trust parents

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