Ethan Demme

Thoughts and Policy for Building a Better Pennsylvania

  • Education Reform
  • Parental Engagement
  • Public Policy
  • Lifelong Learning
  • Lancaster County

April 8, 2015

Book Review: A Secure Base by John Bowlby

Danielle & Lilliyan: Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/kryten/125710155/in/photostream/
Image by kryten CC BY 2.0

John Bowlby is considered the father of attachment theory, a prevailing psychological model for understanding bonds between human beings. As a result of Bowlby’s work in 1940s with troubled and emotionally disturbed children, he discovered the problems that occur when the mother-child bond is disrupted and these observations led to his understanding of the significance of attachment bonds.

Bowlby spoke for the need for the most often natural role of parents as a secure base for their children. He wrote:

“Provided the parent is known to be accessible and will be responsive when called upon, a healthy child feels secure enough to explore. At first these explorations are limited both in time and space. Around the middle of the third year, however, a secure child begins to become confident enough to increase time and distance away-first to half days and later to whole days. As he grows into adolescence, his excursions are extended to weeks or months, but a secure home base remains indispensable nonetheless for optimal functioning and mental health.” (A Secure Base, page 137)

He reported on a study that looked at children who bonded with either the mother or the father, both the mother and the father, or neither the mother or the father. The study’s findings are fairly intuitive but important to examine.

“Children with a secure relationship to both parents were most confident and most competent; children who had a secure relationship to neither were least so; and those with a secure relationship to one parent but not to the other came in between.” (A Secure Base, page 12)

Many have believed and still believe that attachment behavior is unhealthy and that the goal of parenting is to usher a child out of a stage of dependency just as quickly as possible. For Bowlby, this was a gross misunderstanding of human nature.

“No parent is going to provide a secure base for his growing child unless he has an intuitive understanding of and respect for his child’s attachment behavior and treats it as the intrinsic and valuable part of human nature I believe it to be. This is where the traditional term ‘dependence’ has had so baleful an influence. Dependency always carries with it an adverse valuation and tends to be regarded as a characteristic only of the early years and one which ought soon to be grown out of.

As a result in clinical circles it has often happened that, whenever attachment behavior is manifested during later years, it has not only been regarded as regrettable but has even been dubbed regressive. I believe that to be an appalling misjudgment.” (A Secure Base, page 13)

Bowlby’s attachment theory calls us to remember what it means to be human, to intrinsically long for connection with others. For an infant, attachment is a means of protection; for the young adult, less so; but for everyone, attaching is the key to giving and receiving love.

Filed Under: Book Reviews Tagged With: attachment, attachment theory, parents, relationships

March 25, 2015

Book Review: Hispanic Parental Engagement

Dr. Lourdes Ferrer
Dr. Lourdes Ferrer

I recently came across the book, Hispanic Parental Involvement book by Dr. Lourdes Ferrer. Dr. Lourdes is an education consultant and speaker and has more than thirty years of experience as a mother, teacher, school administrator, and education consultant. This vast experience has convinced her that our public education system functions at its best when parents are part of their children’s academic lives.

Hispanic Parental Involvement by Dr. Lourdes Ferrer
Hispanic Parental Involvement by Dr. Lourdes Ferrer

In her book Hispanic Parental Involvement, she specifically addresses the need for parental involvement in education within Hispanic communities. However, much of what she writes is universal and speaks to all parents. At the beginning of the book, Dr. Ferrer recounts how Hispanic students she spoke with cited lack of parental involvement and support as a main explanation for their poor education performance.

In exploring this, Ferrer makes sure to clarify that generally this lack of parental involvement is not a lack of love but rather a lack of knowledge. Many parents in question don’t really know how to navigate the complexities of America’s education system. It’s also true that some don’t see or fully realize the value of education. (pages 9-10)

The book shares ten competencies that Parents and Schools can work towards in order to improve outcomes:

  1. Value Kid’s Education
  2. Meet Kid’s Needs
  3. Overcome Immigrant Challenges
  4. Maintain Family Unity
  5. Understand Their Role
  6. Believe In Their Children
  7. Connect with Teachers
  8. Make Reading a Lifestyle
  9. Make Homework a Routine
  10. Build Kid’s Character

Dr. Lourdes uses the analogy of a tricycle to explore the roles of child, parents, and teachers in education:

tricycle
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Trike_02.svg

Students are the front (big) wheel. “The same way that the front wheel determines the direction of the tricycle, the students’ needs determine the course of action to help them reach academic proficiency in their academic subjects.” (pg. 85)

Parents and teachers are the two back-wheels, connected, that provide support and balance. “Parents and teachers must work collaboratively to provide students the kind of support and balance they need to reach their maximum potential and contribute to society.” (pg. 86)

Parents are essential especially in providing support. Dr. Ferrer writes:

Parents can better support their children’s education when they believe in their children’s ability to learn; expect their children to achieve academic success; and develop a good understanding of how children can reach proficiency in any academic subject.

Check out her book on Amazon.com visit her website and follow her on Twitter.

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Parental Engagement Tagged With: book review, Dr. Lourdes Ferrer, hispanic, parental engagement, relationships

March 2, 2015

The “Parent Effect”: Education in Africa 

Mother and Child

In Africa, as in any country, receiving a quality education is essential in preparing for success. An article from Gallup shares that “investments in education can pay off for generations in Africa.” What is the key to education in Africa? The key to education is universal: the key is parents.

Africans surveyed in 2013 are far more likely to have attended secondary school if both parents have completed primary education.

The article reports that even if only “one parent has a primary education, the likelihood of his or her child completing secondary education more than doubles.” Mothers are especially influential, as evidenced by this chart below:

parents-africa

Since mothers especially have a powerful effect on their children’s academic achievement, the article stresses the importance of strengthening girl’s education in Africa. Of course, access to education for everyone is essential. The article reports that:

“More than four in 10 Africans Gallup surveyed choose education when asked what is most valuable for someone in their country to succeed in life. Although many believe family and social connections (30%), intelligence (17%), and a strong work ethic (12%) are also valuable, Africans clearly view education as the most important ingredient for success.”

The article summary revisits this idea of the parent effect:

the “parent effect,” combined with a true understanding of the value of education, creates an environment where children are more likely to learn and achieve higher goals.

Parents matter. Parents are influential. Parents are the key to education. To read my blog series on the power of parental engagement, click here. To watch my YouTube video on parental engagement, click here.

Filed Under: Parental Engagement Tagged With: education, parental engagement, parents, relationships

February 12, 2015

Warm Relationships With Parents, Long-Term Success

JFK, Harvard, 1938
JFK at Harvard, in 1938

The year was 1938. John F. Kennedy was a college junior at Harvard. Most Americans would not have known his name or recognized his picture. Years later, he would of course become President of the United States but for now, he was an accomplished swimmer on the varsity team.

That same year, Harvard began a longitudinal study that followed 268 male undergraduate students. The purpose of this study was to understand what factors (and combinations of factors) lead to human flourishing.

75 years later – in 2013 – the study was completed. One of the most intriguing discoveries of the study was how significant men’s relationships with their mothers are in determining their well-being in life.

Reporting on the study, Business Insider writes:

“Men who had ‘warm’ childhood relationships with their mothers took home $87,000 more per year than men whose mothers were uncaring.  Men who had poor childhood relationships with their mothers were much more likely to develop dementia when old.  Late in their professional lives, the men’s boyhood relationships with their mothers — but not their fathers — were associated with effectiveness at work. 

On the other hand, warm childhood relations with fathers correlated with lower rates of adult anxiety, greater enjoyment on vacations, and increased ‘life satisfaction’ at age 75 — whereas the warmth of childhood relationships with mothers had no significant bearing on life satisfaction at 75.”  

This study serves to illustrate the importance of the attachment bond between parents and children. Parental engagement matters and the loving nurture received within a family unlocks the door to long-term success. Click here to read more from Harvard about the study.

Oh, and about Jack Kennedy? Here’s a look at his mother’s parenting philosophy: “I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best I could bring to it.”  (source: pbs.org)

In June 1940, Jack graduated from Harvard. His father sent him a cablegram from London: “TWO THINGS I ALWAYS KNEW ABOUT YOU ONE THAT YOU ARE SMART TWO THAT YOU ARE A SWELL GUY LOVE DAD.” (source: jfklibrary.org)

 

Filed Under: Parental Engagement Tagged With: attachment, jfk, parental engagement, relationships

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