Parental Engagement

Study: Teachers Don’t Trust Parents

September 7, 2015

Do parents trust their children’s teachers? Do teachers trust their student’s parents? A study presented at the British Psychological Society’s annual conference in Paris suggests that the trust is often a one-way street.

From the study:

“In both the US and the UK, parents were found to display higher levels of trust for teachers than the teachers do for parents. Parent trust is especially high at primary school but reduces when children go up to secondary school.”

Trust is important. In fact, trust isÂ an important component of learning. Increasingly, educators are noticing and writing that parents matterÂ and that it is imperative to build parental engagement in schools. Parents trust teachers and they need to trust themselves. But more importantly teachers need to trust parents. By trusting parents and working with them teachers can maximize the educational benefit for the students.

#TrustParents

A Successful Homeschool / Public School Partnership

August 24, 2015

Stereotypes abound in the tensions between the homeschooling and public schooling communities. Distrust and suspicion often lead to sharp divisionsÂ as people choose sides instead of opportunities. School districts in Michigan are busting stereotypes, breaking down walls, and building partnerships. A new MindShift article explains:

Michigan has a Schools of Choice program, which means families can choose where to send their children based on the programs offered, not only on where they live. School districts are competing to attract students, and the state funds that come with them. While many homeschool families arenâ€™t interested in enrolling their children in public school full time, they see the benefit of taking a few classes if that means they have more access to funds to pay for instruction of their choice.

Itâ€™s expensive for homeschooling families to provide the music lessons, tutors and other opportunities theyâ€™d like their children to access. Getting help from the public schools â€” which their tax money supports â€” gave homeschooling families a tremendous lift and helped them overcome their distrust of the public system.

This model also benefits the public schools. With the extra money coming in from these part-time homeschoolers has helped fund a STEM program, teacher training, etc.. In addition, the partnership encouraged schools to focus on project-based learning while learning from homeschoolers how to customize and personally tailor education to fit with the needs of each student.

And so:

What started as a financial incentive for both sides has resulted in a program that has broken down stereotypes, built trust and helped change ingrained notions of how instruction and learning can look both in and outside the system.

Once these stereotypes are broken down, public educators

Get a chance to see what reality is, then all of a sudden they are supportive of the concept that parents have a right to choose the method under which their kids will be educated.

It’s good to see a public school system that can #TrustParents and work with them to get great results for their kids.

(You can read the full article here.)

“Like” Me And My Kids on Facebook

August 6, 2015

Parents Magazine has an important article both in their August print edition and online entitledÂ Parenting in a Fakebook World: How Social Media Is Affecting Your Parenting. The article begins by sharing a story of parents oversharing (hint, involves potty training) on Facebook. The article then shares about a Parents SurveyÂ of more than 2,000 respondents: “79 percent said other parents overshare on social media — yet only 32 percent of us think we overshare ourselves. Hmm.”

The article asks, how might this parenting-in-the-age-of-social-media effect children?

“Kids pick up on what their parents like, and Like, from a tender age. “Kids know, ‘When I do something my mom likes or finds funny, she puts it on Instagram,’ ” says Judith Donath, author of the book The Social Machine: Designs for Living Online.”

And since kids understand the fame culture, it’s logical they’d want fame for themselves right?

In one survey of kids ages 9 to 13 at UCLA Digital Media Center, kids who already had their own social-media accounts — and 26 percent under 13 had a YouTube account — craved fame more than those who didn’t.

But not all kids are the same:

“Our children have very different ideas of privacy,” says Patrick Riccards, a father of two in Princeton, New Jersey. “Our son who’s 9 cringes when he learns that we’ve put a picture of him on Facebook or that his aunt posted a baby picture of him on his birthday. He wants a life off the grid — other than the life he’s building for himself on Minecraft.” Riccards says his daughter, 7, is completely different: “She is aching to get on social media. I’ll take a picture or I’ll laugh at something she says, and she immediately asks, ‘Are you going to put that on Facebook?’. Then she asks what people say about her in the comments.”

Here’s the link to the whole article. Also, Patrick Riccards has an educational blog that is worth following: here’s the link.

One takeaway from the study is to talk with your kids about what they want you to share and keep the dialogue going . The second takeaway is to trust other parents, just because they parent differently than you do doesn’t mean the world is about to end. #TrustParents

Parental Engagement Work Series

August 3, 2015

Back in July,Â I shared my parental engagement work series which you can read over at the Demme Learning blog. Here are short summaries from theÂ series.

Part 1 -Â Whatâ€™s the Color of Your Childâ€™s Parachute?

The average adult works approximately 1,700 hours a year (Source). Since so much time is spent at work, itâ€™s best if you can enjoy your work and find a job where your unique skillset is useful. In 1970, Richard Nelson Bolles wrote a book called What Color Is Your Parachute?. The book continues to be a bestseller and has helped many people figure out what career(s) to pursue. As parents, part of our responsibility is to help our children figure out â€œwhat color their parachute isâ€ by guiding them in that process of self-discovery.

Part 2 -Â Happiness and Earned Success

If you want to be happy, strengthen the bonds in your family, be active and engaged in your community, and work hard to earn the kind of success that gives you satisfaction and pride in a job well done. And remember, circumstances in life may raise or lower your happiness but if you find joy in the daily activities, youâ€™ll be able to weather the storms, savor the mountaintops, and take pleasure in the little things of life.

Part 3 -Â The Value of Work & Relaxation

Even though there was always work to be done, my parents would always take a day off on the weekend and we would relax as a family and enjoy the world around us. We would take hikes, have cookouts, go canoeing or just lounge around the house and enjoy a good book. Having a rhythm to the week helped me experience the benefit of both work and relaxation.

Part 4 -Â Tips for Helping Your Kids Develop a Strong Work Ethic

When most people hear the word â€˜artâ€™, they immediately think of the fine arts like painting and sculpture, but something as simple as gardening or digging a ditch can be artistic in that it can express the unique style of a person. There is just as much dignity in working with the hands as there is in working with the head. Manual labor also has the benefit of cultivating humility which is a foundational element of a good work ethic.

Inside Out – Movie Review (Family Support Systems)

July 27, 2015

Mom, Dad, and a younger Riley — Mom, Dad, and Riley*

I’m going to name a few different emotions and I want you to pick which one you would like to see most dominant in your child’s life. Ready? Here we go. Anger. Fear. Sadness. Disgust. Joy. I’m guessing you said Joy, right? As parents, we want our children to experience happiness and the thought of our child experiencing emotional pain is enough to causeÂ usÂ emotional pain.

As parents, we’d rather see our child experiencing this:

Riley enjoying her music (copyright, Pixar, fair use) — Riley enjoying her music*

Than this:

Riley's angry (copyright, Pixar, fair use) — Riley angry*

Or this:

Riley crying (copyright, Pixar, fair use) — Riley crying*

As it turns out, Joy feels the same way that you and I do. In Pixar’s new filmÂ Inside Out, Riley is an 11 year old girl with loving parents, a passion for hockey, and a penchant for being silly. Inside her head, we see the control center where Joy, Anger, Fear, Disgust, and Sadness work diligently to keep things running smoothly.

Emotions (copyright, Pixar, fair use) — Riley’s Emotions*

At one point in the story, when things are looking a bit grim, Joy reminisces about past memories.Â “You remember how she used to stick her tongue out when she was coloring? I could listen to her stories, all day. I just wanted Riley to be happy.”

Inside OutÂ tells parents that it’s okay that children will experience sadness from time to time. It’s normal and it can even be beneficial (sadness is a core part of empathy.) At the same time,Â Inside Out also tells kids that it’s okay to be sad sometimes and that the best way to deal with sadness is to share it with loved ones who can and will care for you.

When the film’s director Peter Docter pitched the story to Mindy Kaling (who played Disgust), she started crying and said:

“I just think it’s really beautiful that you guys are making a story that tells kids that it’s difficult to grow up and it’s OK to be sad about it.” (source)

Amy Poehler, who voiced Joy, spoke about how the film resonated with her own children:

It’s such a great tool to be able to talk to young people. It’s very hard to sit a child down and say, “How are you feeling?” … I have young boys and they say things like, you know, “Isn’t it funny how Anger doesn’t listen?” And I say, “Yeah, you know that was kind of like what was happening the other day with you at school.” You know? Or they say, “I think that I’m like Fear when I don’t want to go to bed.” … It’s like one step away from their actual feelings and they feel really safe in talking about it.

And also in the film there are these core memories, this idea that we all have these memories that shape us and we remember them. And I asked my son what his core memories were. And he listed off five things â€” some were big and some were small. And just to hear a young person tell you, like, “My life so far,” it’s fascinating. (source same as above)

Here are three tips for parents fromÂ Inside Out:

(copyright, Pixar, fair use) — Cheerleader Parents*

1. Place Your Child’s Passions In The Context of Your Family: the love in your family creates attachment that leads to a support system. Spouses support each other and children are supported by mom and dad. In the movie, Riley is passionate about playing hockey. Her parents co-opt this into the family in two ways: A): playing pick-up hockey with her (on ice, and even in their new unfurnished house using brooms) and B): going to her games and cheering for her.

2. Talk To Your Child About Their Core Memories: ask your kids about the memories that define them. Ask questions like, “what is your favorite family memory?”, and “Do you remember what made you feel the saddest?” – Let your children take the lead because the memories that are core to them may not be what you’d expect . . . but don’t be afraid to use prompts as need, i.e., “remember when we first got Rover?”

3. Love, Love Love: this is pretty obvious but never underestimate the power of your love in supporting your child as your child develops. Remember, physical signs of affection like hugs are biological “glue” that deepens attachment. Cultivate feelings of safety and openness that invites your child to share their heart and feelings with you and respond to their hurt with gentleness, care, and love!Â Remember, sadness has a role to play in your child’s life but with your love and support, your child can weather the storms of life and live a life of joy.

I highly recommend the film for you and your family. It’s worth noting though that, as you might expect with a film about feelings, this is a very emotional film. I suggest watching the film first as parents and determining based on your knowledge of your child what might be a good age to introduce it. But the potential for using this film within your parenting is great. I’ve already seen mommy bloggers post about conversations like: “Who is running your command center? Is it Anger? What might be a better way to respond to this situation.” Kids are very good at picking up on the visual language that Pixar has provided.